Señor Maxi’s “writing muse” didn’t report for duty today.
Stroking dem keys felt harder than hiking mount Kilimanjaro after a 3 day booze bender.
And just as my “inner bitch” stretches her tentacles to snatch me down “just do it tomorrow” land… I remember something Dan Kennedy always says.
In one of his “No BS” books… he talks about the fallacy of “positive thoughts.”
There’s a slew of “The Secret” type gyooo-ryooos pedalling the idea that the only way to get stuff dunzo is to focus on “thoughts.”
And Odin forbid you have a “negative” one… because then all wealth and creative prowess drains outta your soul like a vampire stabbed in the heart.
To quote Mr. Kennedy:
“I worked 12 hours on a Sunday, on this book. I didn’t wake up highly motivated. I wasn’t inspired by a muse. Nor did I try to find someone to inspire or motivate me. I didn’t need to listen to a motivational recording. I just went to write… because I had a deadline.”
I can already hear the thumping faints of the #MondayMotivation gyoo-ryoo church goers. Who believe you can’t glue your ass down on your stained chair and write… until you’ve done your “flying turtle” meditation. (Or whatever gooey woo-woo tricks are hot these days.)
And hey… I ain’t saying that stuff doesn’t help some people get over their bad self so they start tappin’ keys. If it rocks your boat… knock thyself out, amigo.
I’m saying it’s preposterous to think it’s your “thoughts” helping you get through the day…. when it’s in fact, your behavior. (Regardless of your squishy thoughts.)
It’s what the man Dan calls behavioral congruency.
It’s the principle that all the +ve hoopla on the planet won’t help you… if you can’t sit thou bootay on a chair and do the stuff. Even if you’d rather lock yourself in a room for 4 hours and listen to a chainsaw buzzin’.
This is also something your humble and not-so-sober Señor Maxi does. (Well, tries to anyway.)
Now… let’s not get crazy here, I ain’t workin’ 12 hour Sundays.
I’ll leave that to the #HustleNoSleep crowd on their way to stroke number 2 and divorce number 3.
But I DO write me daily emails in all sortsa brain funk.
Inspired, blocked, hungover, tired, missing a toe… doesn’t matter. The stuff that needs writing gets written, cap’n.
No “flying turtles” or pats on the back from fakebook pity parties needed.
In fact… if you ditch all those “7 step morning rituals” gyooo-ryooo X tells you to follow, you’re telling your noggin you don’t need no motivation. And that you’re a self-motivatin’, badass mofo. (Plus, you won’t have to keep buying gyooo-ryooo X’s secret “motivation hacks.”)
And if you find yourself more “blocked” than usual, staring at a blank screen waiting for baby-jeezus-type divine intervention… then you gon’ dig page 2 of Señor Maxi’s hot, new copywriting memoir.
Where I wag me tounge about simple tricks you can use to slay the “writer’s block” demon… in more morning-ritual-free ways than your greedy paws can handle.
Because no green stuff zooms your way until stuff gets written and phones start ringin’, mi hermano.
You can feast your dollar-sign-eyeballs on it soon.
For now… go get yourself into some good trouble.
Max “Flying Turtles” Hamm